this past weekend mr c was invited to sit in on a couples retreat at the omega institute in reinbeck ny.
i of course…tagged along.
the 3 day class lead by harville hendrix and his wife helen was bookended by scrumptious vegan grub, 7 am yoga + meditation and took the approach that by eliminating negativity, respecting the scared space between, and utilizing a technique called imago dialogue we can not only have a strife free marriage but a blissful one. i looked around the room at the 55 couples at varying points in their relationships, from dating to…teetering on the very precipice of divorce, and thought to myself
“this has got to be some pretty powerful shit”
but a mere 48 hours after we sat down to slough through our childhood, our fears and our wants…
I noticed something.
where before there were scowls…i now glimpsed smiles
i witnessed arms, casually slung across shoulders where before they were crossed
but perhaps most exciting…hope shining in the eyes of people who recognized again
why they fell in love in the first place.
i grinned…."i’ll be dammed...this stuff might really work."
it’s been 3 days since we left the cocoon of the retreat and i wonder about those couples.
have they started to change?
are they more kind?
do they really listen when their partner talks?
or was it too easy to slide back into old habits.
just yesterday i felt myself getting frustrated over something silly that mr c did.
i stopped, took a breath and in true imago style asked if it was an ok time
to tell him about something that was bugging me.
he took his own breath and said, let me see if i get this…
you wish to share something with me that’s bugging you.
did i get that?”
i smiled and with a little prayer of thanks to ole harville said…
yes mr c….you got it!